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If you’re going through a contentious divorce, hurt and anger are par for the course. You may even believe that holding onto your rage is a show of strength. But the truth is, blame renders you powerless to your own emotions. What if I told you that true power—and the ability to heal—lies in your ability to choose compassion?

Dr. Steven Stosny is the creator of Compassion Power, an organization founded on the belief that people are, indeed, more powerful when they are compassionate. Dr. Stosny is also a renowned author and media consultant who has appeared on Oprah, CBS Sunday Morning, and CNN’s Talkback Live, among others. A leading expert in relationships, anger and abuse, Dr. Stosny has treated 6,000-plus clients and presented at professional conferences all over the world.

Today, Dr. Stosny joins Katherine to share his insight around the power of compassion, explaining how anger narrows your focus and limits your intellectual abilities. He discusses the concepts of compassionate assertiveness and emotional reconditioning, describing how blame eliminates your ability to heal, correct and improve. Dr. Stosny speaks to the underlying powerlessness felt by violent abusers and how victim identity strips away their ability to feel compassion. Listen in and learn several actionable strategies to help you let go of anger and resentment—and embrace your life.


Why compassion is more powerful than anger or resentment

The concept of compassionate assertiveness

The difficulty of maintaining hostility toward someone who is compassionate

How focusing on the best interests of your children lends itself to compassion

How demonizing someone makes you lose touch with your deeper values

The narrow, rigid focus created by anger

How blame makes you powerless to your own emotions

The way in which confirmation bias supports blame

How to crowd out resentment with value creation

How Dr. Stosny came to understand the link between compassion and power

  • Grew up in violent home with abusive father
  • Mother taught that the violent feel powerless, lack compassion

The destructive nature of victim identity

The importance of focusing on what anger is doing to you

Dr. Stosny’s strategies around engaging your adult brain

  • How can I make my experience a little better?
  • Apply deeper values to guide behavior

The role of compassion as a healing emotion


Compassion Power

Email compassionpower@compassionpower.com


Books by Dr. Stosny


The Center for Understanding Conflict
Miller Law Group
Katherine on LinkedIn