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EP: 028
ALEXIS NEELY
THE DEEP PROCESS OF RELEASING CONFLICT IN DIVORCE
Alexis Neely was going through an adversarial divorce settlement process. One evening in a hotel room, the weight of the conflict landed on her, and she prayed that a higher power would show her the way to resolution. In that moment, a very clear voice inside said, “Ask him what he needs to be safe, and give it to him.” Initially, Alexis resisted. Would her ex-husband take advantage of her generosity? What if he asked for more than she had to give? Eventually, though, Alexis found the courage and posed the question…
Today, Alexis is an estate and business planning attorney, a serial entrepreneur, and a single mom. After divorcing her husband in 2005, she went on to build a million-dollar law practice based on a new pricing model inspired in part by her experience with the settlement process. Alexis teaches her New Law Business Model to lawyers worldwide and supports entrepreneurs and small business owners in making legal, insurance, financial and tax decisions with their ‘eyes wide open.’ She and her ex-husband live together and co-parent their children amicably.
On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Alexis sits down with Katherine to share her adversarial experience in the collaborative law paradigm and explains the need to align the attorney’s economic interests with the best interest of the client. She offers insight into the tendency for divorcing couples to shrink their earning power, discussing how her divorce settlement ultimately incentivized her to build a million-dollar business. Alexis describes situations in which divorcing couples sacrifice their children’s well-being for the sake of money and the benefit of finding a lawyer who is focused on more than just getting the largest possible settlement. Listen in to understand how letting go of conflict opens you up to something greater and learn how reaching a resolution freed Alexis to move forward in faith.
TOPICS COVERED
How Alexis supports lawyers in using the legal system to reach resolutions
Alexis’ experience with the collaborative law paradigm in her own divorce
How Alexis resolved the conflict by asking what her ex-husband needed to feel safe
The need to align the lawyer’s economic interests with the best interest of the client
Why Alexis built a new pricing model for her estate and business planning practice
How the divorce settlement incentivized Alexis to build a million-dollar business
Alexis’ insight on the tendency for divorcing couple to shrink their earning power
Finding a lawyer who is focused on the long-term implications of settlement decisions
How divorcing couples often sacrifice their children’s well-being for money
Alexis’ take on how resolving conflict frees your creativity
How letting go of conflict with generosity opens you up to something greater
The danger in listening to the Greek Chorus encouraging you to dig in and fight
CONNECT WITH ALEXIS NEELY
RESOURCES
CONNECT WITH KATHERINE MILLER
The Center for Understanding Conflict
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com
Call (914) 738-7765
