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The Decision to Divorce: How Do You Know When It’s Time to Leave? with Nancy Colier

It goes without saying that the decision to divorce is not an easy one to make. For some couples, the back-and-forth goes on for years. Yes, it’s bad. But is it THAT bad? How do you know when it’s finally time to leave?

Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister and relationship coach. A student of Eastern spirituality, mindfulness practices serve as the foundation of her work. She is invited to speak regularly on the topics of wellbeing and mindfulness, and Nancy has been featured on Good Morning America, Fox and Friends and in The New York Times. She is also a regular blogger for Psychology Today and the Huffington Post and the author of several books, including Inviting a Monkey to Tea: Befriending Your Mind and Discovering Lasting Contentment.

Today, Nancy joins Katherine to discuss the individual nature of making the decision to divorce. She explains how high-functioning women develop coping strategies to numb the not okay-ness, how men tend to have less fear around finding another partner, and how extramarital affairs function to fracture the connection and create change. Nancy walks us through the questions to ask as we take inventory of our relationships and describes the value in finding the deep wound under the narrative we’re stuck in. Listen in for insight around expressing differences without blame and learn how to have a warrior’s heart that opens precisely when it’s wounded.


The individual nature of making the decision to divorce

The value in taking an inventory of what you are/are not willing to give up

How high-functioning women develop coping strategies to numb the not okay-ness

The tendency for men to have less fear about finding another partner

The role of extramarital affairs in creating the fracture that will motivate change

The questions to ask yourself in the decision-making process

  • What’s important to you? What’s non-negotiable?
  • What are you willing to do without?
  • What are you getting? What are you giving up?

Why expressing differences without blame is key in maintaining connection

How to be protective of your partner’s wounds without defending yourself

The challenge of opening your heart precisely in the moment you feel wounded


Nancy’s Website

Call (212) 316-6648

Nancy in Psychology Today


The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765