Many dads of divorce fear that they will be completely cut off from their children. They may also have difficulty navigating the shift in their relationships with both their kids and their co-parents in the aftermath of divorce. How can a coach support men in managing their feelings and developing the best possible bonds with their children?
Richard Heller is the Founder and Lead Coach with Separate with Sanity, a coaching program that helps people in dysfunctional marriages get clarity around their values and divorce in a way that is respectful, recognizing that a shared responsibility to the family does not end with the marriage. Richard has enjoyed a 35-year career as an entrepreneur, and his experiences as the child of divorce, the husband in a divorced marriage, and the husband in a successful marriage that has nurtured five children make him uniquely qualified to support people in redefining their relationships in a way that works better for everyone involved.
Today, Richard joins Katherine to discuss his work in helping dads improve their relationships with both their children and their co-parents. He explains how to identify the triggers that bring on a feeling of fear, measure when you’re overreacting, and manage your responses. Richard addresses the need for dads to shift their relationship with children after a divorce, describing how to ‘play both sides of the court’ and get involved in your child’s social life. Listen in to understand what differentiates coaching from other modalities like therapy and counseling and learn how a divorce coach might support you in achieving the best possible relationship with your children moving forward!
The way communication issues persist in the aftermath of divorce
Richard’s work to help dads improve their relationships with children
How to identify and manage your reaction to triggers
How to measure when you’re overreacting to a trigger
The most common fear of dads around being cut off from children
Richard’s advice for dads on becoming a player in your child’s social life
The challenge of eliciting buy-in from a co-parent as roles shift
The long-term, ongoing nature of the co-parenting relationship
What differentiates coaching from therapy, counseling and mentoring
Why hopelessness is not a good posture for forward motion
The focus of coaching on learning to deal with circumstances
How coaching can benefit divorcing couples involved in litigation
The disparity of experience between people divorcing and attorneys
Email rich@separatewithsanity.com
Call (917) 309-9045
The Center for Understanding Conflict
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com
Call (914) 738-7765