‘We are emotionally wired to avoid conflict. People sometimes have to be forced to—or have to be encouraged or coached to—and the prenup provides that opportunity because you really do have to sit down, roll up your sleeves, and start talking about what’s important to you.’
Mindy Utay is a psychotherapist in practice on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Her background in the law, social work, and psychoanalysis allows Mindy to support couples and families in identifying and resolving conflicts with courage and optimism. She is a coveted relationship expert and speaker on the topics of relationship conflicts, marriage, and parenting, and Mindy is a regular columnist for the Huffington Post.
Today, Mindy sits down with Katherine to offer insight around the contradiction of prenuptial agreements, explaining why it’s so challenging to consider the end of a relationship at the very beginning. She discusses the problems associated with the ‘moneyed spouse’ approaching a lawyer alone and shares her alternative approach to introducing the prenup within the larger context of the couple’s relationship. Listen in to understand the benefits of creating a prenuptial agreement and learn how the process can provide couples with a framework for conflict-resolution.
Mindy’s insight on the contradiction of prenuptial agreements
The challenge around considering the end of a relationship at the very beginning
The benefits of establishing a prenuptial agreement
The problems associated with the typical process of lawyers writing, emailing drafts
The value of discussing the prenup within the context of the relationship
Mindy’s relationship-as-foundation approach to discussing prenuptial agreements
How to create a safe environment and establish intimacy while discussing a prenup
Mindy’s take on our resistance to discussing the possibility of death
Why timing and tone are the most important factors in introducing a prenup
Email mindyutay@gmail.com
Call (212) 744-6057
The Center for Understanding Conflict
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com
Call (914) 738-7765