Self-criticism is a natural response to divorce. But it’s not particularly helpful.
In fact, it’s harder to learn from a place of shame and judgement, whereas self-compassion helps us cope more effectively and make better choices moving forward.
A pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, Dr. Kristin Neff currently serves as Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is the author of the bestselling book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and coauthor of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive. Dr. Neff’s new release is Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.
On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Neff joins Katherine to explain how self-compassion helps us navigate painful experiences like divorce. She walks us through the three components of self-compassion, describing how the practice allows us to cope with the hurt and take responsibility for our mistakes. Listen in as Dr. Neff shares what she learned about self-compassion in her own divorce and learn to treat yourself with kindness and improve your wellbeing in the process of divorce.
The 3 components of self-compassion (mindfulness, self-kindness and common humanity)
Why people who are self-compassionate about divorce cope more effectively than those who beat themselves up
How self-compassion helps us take personal responsibility for our mistakes
How mindfulness allows us to acknowledge the pain of divorce without getting lost in it
The power in realizing that challenging relationships are part of being human
Giving yourself honest, constructive feedback around how to make wiser choices moving forward
What Dr. Neff learned about herself and self-compassion in her own divorce
How self-compassion can help divorced parents navigate the holidays
How being compassionate to ourselves gives us the resources to be more compassionate to others
How self-kindness activates the parasympathetic nervous system and improves decision-making
The Center for Understanding in Conflict
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
Email katherine@miller-law.com
Call (914) 862-7487
Self-Compassion Guided Practices
Center for Mindful Self-Compassion
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff