Dr. Thomas Jordan
How to Heal Your Disappointing Love Life With Dr. Thomas Jordan
At the beginning of a new romance, we’re not worried about repeating the unhealthy patterns that ended our previous relationships. We tell ourselves that this one is different.
But statistics tell a different story.
The divorce rate is 41% for first marriages, 60% for second marriages and 73% the third time around.
So, what’s behind those dismal statistics? And what can we do to heal a disappointing love life?
Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist and a psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City. He also serves on the faculty of the NYU Postdoctoral Program in Psychoanalysis.
Dr. Jordan founded the Love Life Learning Center to help people strengthen their ability to form and sustain healthy relationships, and he is the author of Learn to Love: A Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life.
On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Jordan joins Katherine to discuss the three features of a disappointing love life, describing how we unconsciously repeat unhealthy patterns learned in childhood.
Dr. Jordan explains how to stop the generational transmission of unhealthy learning in relationships, challenging us to set up a marriage that nurtures the love experience and grows over time.
Listen in to understand when your marriage can be saved and when it’s time to divorce—and learn the first steps to healing your disappointing love life.
The unhealthy patterns Dr. Jordan noticed in his practice that inspired Learn to Love
Dr. Jordan’s 3 features of a disappointing love life—repetition, replication and recreation
The case study of a client whose childhood experience with a violent father informed her disappointing love life
How we can’t control our experience of love but can set up a relationship that nurtures that experience
What it looks like to stop the generational transmission of unhealthy learning in love relationships
Dr. Jordan’s insight on the value in looking at divorce as a learning experience
How an awareness of your psychological love life serves as the foundation of a growing relationship
How to know whether your marriage can be saved or if it’s time for divorce
Why after divorce is a good time to ‘work on your love life’
The first steps to examining your own love life and moving it in a healthier direction
Connect With Dr. Thomas Jordan
Connect With Katherine Miller
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
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