EP: 155


Divorcing a Narcissist in Mediation With Brian James

How do you negotiate with someone who has to be right? If you’re divorcing a narcissist, you know that they simply can’t see things from someone else’s point of view. So, how do you come to an equitable divorce agreement? And is mediation an appropriate option for divorcing a narcissist?

Brian James is the founder of CEL & Associates, a mediation practice with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. An experienced divorce and family mediator, Brian spent ten years resolving family conflicts in the criminal justice system before starting CEL & Associates in 2005. Brian is dedicated to helping clients come to an agreement outside the courtroom, creating a win-win situation for all involved in a divorce.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Brian joins Katherine to explain how to know if you’re married to a narcissist, describing what gaslighting looks like and how it makes you feel. He shares his approach to managing a narcissist in the divorce mediation process and discusses how he decides when mediation is the right option for a divorcing couple. Listen in for Brian’s insight on persuading a narcissist to try mediation and learn his top strategies for surviving a high-conflict divorce.


 How to know if you’re married to a narcissist (and why it’s hard to tell early on)

What it looks like when a narcissist is gaslighting you and how it makes you feel

How narcissists lack the capacity for empathy

Brian’s approach to managing a narcissist in the divorce mediation process

Why it’s crucial to come to a detailed, air-tight agreement if you’re divorcing a narcissist

How Brian determines whether mediation is the right option for a divorcing couple

Brian’s strategies for surviving divorce mediation with a high-conflict spouse

The narcissist’s inability to engage in respectful disagreement

How to persuade your spouse to try divorce mediation rather than go to court

How attorneys can support the mediation process when a narcissist is involved


CEL & Associates

CEL on Facebook

CEL on Twitter

Call (312) 524-5829


The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-776