EP: 003



No parent wants to hurt their children, yet the conflict dynamic that generally accompanies the divorce process can be very painful, particularly in a litigated case. Even parents with the best of intentions inadvertently engage in behaviors that seem innocuous to them—but cause their kids distress. The collaborative process seeks to approach divorce in a child-centered way, and the divorce coach is tasked with educating parents in how children experience divorce.

Micki McWade is an experienced collaborative divorce coach, psychotherapist and parent educator. She has been working in the space since 1993, when she designed the Twelve Step Divorce Recovery Group model. She continues to facilitate Twelve Step groups and teach Parents Apart classes, which help parents recognize and avoid the pitfalls of divorce for children. Micki has been on the faculty of several national conferences, and she serves as a trainer of basic and advanced collaborative practice. She is the author of four books about recovering from divorce and the collaborative process.

Today, Micki sits down with Katherine to discuss the role of the divorce coach in the collaborative process, explaining how she facilitates communication between the divorcing partners and helps them both feel heard and understood. She speaks to the child-centered nature of the process and offers insight around behaviors that hurt children during and after their parents’ divorce. Listen in for information about the 12-step recovery group Micki facilitates and learn how it supports people in transitioning to a new reality after divorce.

Topics Covered

The role of the divorce coach in the collaborative process

How the divorce coach reinterprets dialogue to reduce tension

How feeling heard and understood establishes trust

How mental health professionals in the collaborative setting put children first

Micki’s insight around behaviors that hurt children in the divorce process

The notion of parents as the ‘executive committee’

The value in learning to communicate with your ex in a constructive manner

How mediation and collaborative approach divorce in a child-centered way

Micki’s 12-step separation and divorce recovery group

  • Support through ‘gateway to new reality’
  • Move forward, overcome feelings of isolation


Micki’s Website


Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery by Micki McWade

Daily Meditations: For Surviving a Breakup, Separation or Divorce by Micki McWade

Healing You, Healing Me: A Divorce Group Leader’s Guide by Micki McWade


The Center for Understanding Conflict

Miller Law Group

Katherine on LinkedIn

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email katherine@westchesterfamilylaw.com

Call (914) 738-7765