A Mindful Approach to Divorce with Nancy Colier
How do you learn to be okay with not being okay?
In a culture where we’re taught to run from discomfort, it can seem like quite a feat to stop and take inventory of what’s true for us in a particular moment—especially if what we’re feeling is pain. But Nancy Colier argues that ‘company with our own experience IS the healing.’
Nancy is a psychotherapist and relationship coach whose work is grounded in mindfulness practices. She is the author of Inviting a Monkey to Tea: Befriending Your Mind and Discovering Lasting Contentment as well as The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World. A thought leader on the topics of wellbeing, mindfulness and technology, Nancy has been featured on Good Morning America and in The New York Times, Huffington Post and Psychology Today.
Today, Nancy joins Katherine to share the definition of mindfulness and explain what it means to bring mindfulness to divorce. She walks us through the process of communicating in a less reactive, more compassionate way by speaking the truth of our experience. Listen in for Nancy’s insight around the connection between attention and love and learn how our capacity to be empathic impacts our relationships.
Nancy’s simple definition of mindfulness
What it means to bring mindfulness to the process of divorce
How to be okay with not being okay
How mindfulness helps us communicate in a less reactive way
How to stop the conflict dynamic by speaking with the word ‘I’
The danger in linking our freedom with changing another person
How to get out of the dialogue of blame
- Fight with reality, reality wins
- Acceptance brings choice
How we dodge intimacy with technology
The connection between attention and love
How the capacity to be empathic impacts our relationships
Nancy’s insight on seeing disparity as ‘another freaking growth opportunity’
CONNECT WITH NANCY COLIER
Nancy’s Column in Psychology Today