A Coparenting Arrangement That Puts Kids First With Bill DeSalvo
Traditional coparenting arrangements put the focus on the divorcing couple. They establish new, separate households, and the kids go back and forth.
But what happens if you shift your focus and build a coparenting plan around the children?
When Bill DeSalvo’s ex-wife introduced him to the idea of nesting, he had misgivings. But he was open to the alternative because of its benefits for his kids.
On the last episode of Divorce Dialogues, Bill’s ex-wife, Beth Behrendt, walked us through the fundamentals of nesting, a coparenting strategy in which the children stay in the family home and the parents move in and out.
Today, Bill joins Katherine to discuss the experience of nesting from his perspective, sharing the logistical questions he had around how it would work and how their arrangement has evolved over time.
Bill explains what he learned about himself through nesting and describes the mutual respect he and Beth established by putting rules in place early on.
Listen in for Bill’s advice on building structure into a nesting arrangement without ‘scoreboarding’ and find out if you have what it takes to make nesting work for your family.
What differentiates nesting from traditional coparenting arrangements
How nesting puts the focus on the children vs. the couple getting divorced
Why Bill was receptive when his ex-wife introduced the idea of nesting
The logistical questions Bill had around how nesting would work
How Bill and his ex-wife’s nesting arrangement has evolved over time
What Bill learned about himself and how he grew as a person through nesting
Bill’s reaction to his ex-wife’s decision to write Nesting After Divorce
Bill’s insight on what it takes to make a nesting arrangement work
The rules Bill and his ex put in place early in their nesting arrangement
How to build structure into a nesting arrangement without ‘scoreboarding’
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The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller
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